By Sam Bertschmann
Courtesy of usmagazine.com.
Co-hosting for the second of what will be three years in a row, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler kicked off the Golden Globes with an unsurprisingly hilarious opening monologue. Poehler informed Matt Damon that, compared to the rest of the stars in the room, he was “basically a garbage person.” Fey invited Captain Phillips’ Somali pirates to her room for the after party (“I am da captain now”). Both tried to get Julia Louis-Dreyfus, nominated for Enough Said and Veep, to acknowledge them (“You know us from TV!”); smoking an e-cigarette, Louis-Dreyfus jokingly pretended not to see them. I am calling it now: Fey-Poehler ‘16.
The first award of the night went to Jennifer Lawrence for Best Supporting Actress (Motion Picture) for American Hustle. Lawrence did not trip on her way to the stage and asked the Hollywood Foreign Press Association to stop giving her awards so that she would not have to deliver any more nerve-wracking acceptance speeches.
David O. Russell’s film also won Best Motion Picture (Comedy or Musical) and star Amy Adams was named Best Actress (Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical). Like Lawrence did last year, Adams beat Meryl.
Dallas Buyers Club cleaned up at the Globes; Jared Leto won Best Supporting Actor (Motion Picture) and Matthew McConaughey won Best Actor (Motion Picture, Drama), beating the likes of “Tam Honks” and delivering an acceptance speech that harkened back to his Dazed and Confused days (“All right all right all right!”).
Woody Allen was given the Cecil B. DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award and Cate Blanchett, star of his film Blue Jasmine, was named Best Actress (Motion Picture, Drama). Diane Keaton accepted the award on Allen’s behalf, concluding her speech with an eerie rendition of the Girl Scout classic, “Make New Friends, But Keep the Old.”
What Gabriella Levine ‘14 referred to in our staff Globes prediction piece as “the Leonardo DiCaprio curse” was broken when DiCaprio was chosen as Best Actor (Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical) for The Wolf of Wall Street. This was DiCaprio’s tenth Globes nomination and second win.
Best Director (Motion Picture) went to Alfonso Cuarón for Gravity, while Best Motion Picture (Drama), the final award of the evening, was awarded to Steve McQueen’s 12 Years a Slave. The latter was adapted from Solomon Northup’s memoir of the same name; in 2013, former Director of Union’s Mandeville Gallery Rachel Seligman and Robert Porter Patterson Professor of Government Clifford Brown co-authored a biography on Northup.
Jacqueline Bisset received the first television award of the night for Dancing on the Edge, named Best Supporting Actress (TV Series, Miniseries or TV Motion Picture). Bisset took her time walking to the stage and delivered the loopiest acceptance speech of all time, perhaps slightly more drunk than barefoot presenter Emma Thompson (“This red? It’s my blood,” said Thompson of her Louboutins).
Best Actress (TV Movie or Miniseries) went to Elisabeth Moss for Top of the Lake, while Best Actor in this category went to Michael Douglas for Behind the Candelabra.
Still very much in the empire business, AMC’s Breaking Bad fared well; Bryan Cranston was awarded Best Actor (TV Series, Drama) for his role as Walter White and the show was named Best TV Series (Drama). Best Supporting Actor (TV Series, Miniseries, or TV Motion Picture) favorite Aaron Paul lost to Jon Voight for Ray Donovan, making Paul’s “Yeah, bitch!” at the end of Vince Gilligan’s acceptance speech his only of the night.
Fox’s Brooklyn Nine-Nine dominated the television comedy categories, winning the award for Best TV Series (Comedy or Musical) and Best Actor (TV Series, Comedy or Musical) for star Andy Samberg.
Robin Wright won Best Actress (TV Series, Drama) for her role as Claire Underwood in Netflix’s House of Cards.
Poehler, who won Best Actress (TV Series, Comedy or Musical) as Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation, celebrated her achievement by making out with Bono. Fey congratulated her friend: “I love you and there’s a special place in hell for you,” likely referring to Taylor Swift’s 2013 Vanity Fair interview in which she condemned the co-hostesses to hell for making a joke about her active love life at last year’s ceremony.
The biggest star of the night was, of course, Randy Fey, Tina’s adult son from a previous relationship. I hope he finds his dad.