By Angelina Gazzilo
Here at Union we like to pride ourselves on our academics. Therefore, after a long weekend of procrastination at its finest, it’s the day we have all been waiting for … Sunday! Crunch time.
9:30 a.m. — Wake up. Talk about the weekend’s major events and wonder why you’re up so early. You think about going back to bed but you really can’t go back to bed because you know if you actually did go back to bed you wouldn’t get up and you HAVE to be productive today because you have procrastinated the entire weekend and have so much stuff to do that you just want to crawl back into your bed and not face reality. You take a few moments to wallow in self-pity and then move on with the day.
10 a.m. — Physical pain is setting in because you have so much to do and so little time.
10:30 a.m. — Pulled yourself together … BUT you can’t go to the library without breakfast; after all don’t they say breakfast is the most important meal of the day right? You think to yourself how good Dunkin would be … And then you also think about how poor you are … West it is. Not only are there endless amounts of food awaiting you (take what you can and give nothing back) but also it’s a HUGE SOCIAL SCENE. You happen to run into people you haven’t seen in a while, see people you hung out with that weekend, ask if anyone else did the homework yet…
11:30 a.m. — Finally manage to leave West and you’re actually disgusted by how much you ate and how much time you willingly spent socializing in a dining hall. Seriously, you are going to the library right now.
11:45 a.m. — On you’re way to the library (you are so close to the library it hurts) but you HAVE to stop at Reamer and get snacks for the library. You’re so full right now, but you have to get beverages because you absolutely can’t do work if you’re dehydrated. Not to mention you’re production rate isn’t nearly as good without a bag of Reamer candy. It’s really in your best interest if you just stop there and get it over with sooner than later.
12:15 p.m. — Had a minor set back. Ran into a few people, bought a total of eight drinks (just incase the other seven disappeared), an entire box of Cheez-Its, Reamer candy (obviously), bags of chips and anything else that you can charge to your declining because it isn’t real money.
12:20 p.m. — FINALLY ARRIVED AT YOUR DESTINATION, and honestly you think you made it here in pretty decent time (not too shabby, give yourself a little pat on the back for all the hard work you’ve already accomplished today). Now, where do you and your entire cult that you picked up in Reamer want to sit?
12:40 p.m. — The new first floor tables are taken (and probably have been since 10 a.m.) and you already came to terms with the fact that you probably weren’t going to sit in the awesome new comfy chairs on the first floor. But you definitely walked around the second floor, saying hi and chatting with a lot of the people you already saw in West or Reamer. You finally decide that you need to feel like you are in a prison … Strictly no windows, no sound, no sign of life, a place with no happiness at all … Snag the last table in the basement. Check.
1 p.m. — Okay. Finally sat down, lined up all eight beverages you bought and showed everyone at the table all the awesome snacks you got – no they can’t have any. Yes, you are going to eat the entire box of Cheez-Its and expect no judgments. Unpack your entire book bag (chargers, books, pens, highlighters, etc.), organize yourself: What do you want to do first? What’s due tomorrow? Plug in your laptop charger, headphones and phone charger … Wait – Tobi is having an online sale with free shipping, make a mental note that you have to look at that at some point today.
1:15 p.m. — Turn on your laptop. This is where the going gets hard.
2:30 p.m. — You have actually managed to spend over an entire hour checking your email, Facebook (have to upload all the pictures from the weekend), Twitter, Tumblr, Twitter, Buzzfeed Quizzes, Buzzfeed in general, Instagram, Pinterest Snap chat … You could be mad at yourself but you had way too much fun living through social media and recapping the weekend. At this point, you ask yourself: “What am I actually doing with my life?”… Answer: not a clue. NOT A SINGLE CLUE.
2:45 p.m. — Okay, you are closing all social media websites, closing your laptop and you’re going to open that binded thing with pages and words written on it RIGHT NOW.
3 p.m. — Got a solid 15 minutes of reading in, check your phone because your text message notifications are up to 56 messages and it’s actually giving you anxiety to the point where you can’t even focus.
All from a single group chat from your friends who are actually sitting at the same table as you.
3:15 p.m. – Everyone has that one friend who doesn’t really do much, you kind of question if they even take classes here because they have so much time on their hands. You don’t really ever see them doing anything, and you’re like: “What’s your major because I’m going to Silliman and changing my major to it like LITERALLY TOMORROW.” That friend texts in the group chat “Sorry guys, I overslept. Anyone want to go with me to Chipotle?” You sit there with your mouth open because its 3:15 in the afternoon and you despise that person and don’t even answer because that’s how disgusted you are. But then you’re like, what kind of friend would I be if I let them go alone? But then you decide that you have to have some kind of self control and get work done.
3:30 p.m. – You put your headphones in because this silence is definitely not bliss. Out of habit you start the entire social media process over.
4 p.m. – You think to yourself, “Wow this is truly a sight to behold … It’s 4 p.m. and I have managed to do absolutely nothing with my time spent in this library. Feelings of failure and guilt come over you and you think that this book is going to haunt you in your sleep if you don’t read it within the next hour. You address yourself “[first name, middle name, last name], time to put on a legit straitjacket because you got absolutely NOTHING accomplished today.” You think about how if you don’t get good grades, your parents will most likely cut you off from your bi-weekly allowance…
5 p.m. – After that motivation, you finally finished one of the readings for one of your classes. Your response: What does that mean? There are so many words on this page.
It’s about that time of the day when everyone is leaving the library, because they actually did something productive. You decide that you gave it a solid attempt, and when your parents ask what your GPA is you’ll just plead the Fifth. After all, maybe law school is in your future?