Proctors Preview: ‘The Room’

0
54

By Caitlin Gardner

‘The Room’ is essentially an exercise, or exorcism, of the American dream. The result is ‘The ‘Citizen Kane’ of bad movies’.
This independently funded production, which plays at 7 pm this Thursday at Proctors, is not a low-budget film by any stretch of the imagination, as it cost at least $6 million to produce.
How did the film’s producer/director/writer/star Tommy Wiseau get this much money to make such a terrible film? He started up a leather jacket print up business and imported insanely cheap leather jackets from Korea.
‘The Room’ is a knock-off Tennessee Williams melodrama suffering from severe schizophrenia. The movie is tonally all over the place, misogynist to its core, and unintentionally hilarious and disgusting.
The behind-the-camera drama of the  actors and crew directly affects what viewers see on screen with comically brilliant results.
The bizarre story focuses on Johnny (Wiseau), portrayed as the quintessential ‘greatest guy in the world,’ who is ‘stabbed in the back’ by his fiancée, Lisa (Juliette Danielle) and his best friend Mark (Greg Sestero).
This is virtually the only plotline that makes sense or is told with any conviction whatsoever.
There are monthly and weekly screenings across the country in movie houses that show ‘The Room’ with consistent sell-outs. Both hardcore fandom and viewers who are simply curious about the movie through word of mouth agree: this movie sucks.
‘The Room’ is truly a one of a kind bad film. There is simply no movie as bad or as entertaining.
‘The Room’ Viewing Guide:
 Yell out “Cancer!” when Lisa’s mother is on-screen.  Why yell out something so insensitive?  Her nonchalant revelation will make you yell the word.
During any obvious stock footage that pans to San Francisco houses, sing the Full House theme song.  A simple “Meanwhile back in San Francisco” cue is also appropriate.
Shout “Go!  Go!  Go!  Go!  Go!” during bridge tracking shots. Groan if the tracking shot does not complete its journey over the bridge, cheer when it does.
When you see a character who comes in unannounced and out of context, exclaim, “Who are you?” because it will be on everybody’s mind.
The film contains some really obvious misogyny, so whenever a female character (99.9% of the time this is Lisa) is seen as completely helpless, yell out (sarcastically), “It’s ‘cause you’re a woman!”
Sing along and wave your arms to the most mortifying song, “You Are My Rose” during the infamous sex scene between Johnny and Lisa.  It is the only way your revulsion can be tamed.
Yell “FOCUS!” when the film goes blurry; however, said sex scene will likely make you shout out, “UNFOCUS!”
Finally, “SPOON!”  There is a photograph in Johnny’s apartment of a spoon that is constantly in frame.  Some people take it to another level by literally throwing spoons toward the screen, so I would recommend sitting in the back for this one to avoid getting hit in the head.

NO COMMENTS

Leave a Reply