By Stephanie Vacchio
Sometimes, some things are so great they need to be pointed out and put on a pedestal. This is not a list of those kinds of things. Rather, here is a list of the things I hated to love, and loved to hate for the past twelve months…
1. Jersey Shore
Picture this: As I write about how bad Jersey Shore is, I am currently in a tanning bed somewhere in New Jersey watching the season three premiere while a professional poof-creator is styling my hair into three feet of Snook-tastic perfection.
Everything about that scenario is true, except for all of it. Well, most of it. I am watching the third season premiere (sadly, sans hair stylist). Which proves my point—this show is like The Situation standing on top of the Staten Island Dump: so gross I do not want to get any closer, but so sweet I literally cannot look away.
2. Sandra Bullock’s Oscar vs. Jesse James
So Sandra Bullock wins an Oscar. Then her lying, cheating, sneaky husband admits to having an affair. What a fabulous way to celebrate the single most important accomplishment of her life! Despite the fact that her husband should have been groveling for forgiveness because he was already way out of his league, Sandra threw him deuces and called it quits. I guess Jesse James isn’t a dead man just yet…
3. Chris Brown’s “Comeback”
Speaking of deuces, did you know that Deuces was the number one song of 2010 according to New York’s Power 105.1?
If you live in the fabulous tri-state area, you know exactly what I am talking about. I can look past Chris Brown’s past mistakes (we are all human), but I cannot look past Power 105’s massive mishap. I can think of about one hundred and four other songs that could have, and should have taken the number one spot
I am going to be honest with you. I have never, not once, woken up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy. And frankly, if I looked in the mirror and saw Diddy staring back at me, I would be concerned.
Nonetheless, Ke$ha’s music speaks to all of us. When you hear “Your Love is My Drug” come on the radio on a Sunday morning and it helps trigger your blurry memory of what you did the night before, you know this girl has a gift unlike any other.
5. Lil Wayne’s Release From Jail
Biggest injustice of 2010. Worse than Taylor Swift robbing Beyoncé of video of the year in 2009. Much, much worse.
6. Hugh Hefner’s Engagement
Let’s do some simple math: Hugh’s fiancée, Crystal Harris, is 24 years old. Hef is 84. By my calculations, when Hef was sitting atop his multi-million dollar empire at the ripe age of 60, Crystal was just about making her way in to this world. Guess when his wives start to look like Playboy hares he trades them in for a brand new baby bunny.
7. LeBronathon and Cliffgate
LeBron went from hero to villain over night. Cliff decided that pinstripes just were not his, or his wife’s, style. Listen Cliff, we are not taking it personally here in New York. We understand that not everyone is superior enough to live in the greatest (sports) city in the world. And as for you LeBron, everyone knows Dwyane Wade is the real star of Miami Thrice.
Hope you enjoyed my little trip down memory lane. Here’s to hoping that 2011 will be overflowing with even more fist pumping and scandal than the last 365 days. Happy New Year!