2008 Woodie Awards
From the editor's desk: under 18? Stay at your high school
Patrick Fergusson
Issue date: 1/31/08 Section: Opinions
Under two circumstances do we ever admit non-Union students inside the thrice blessed halls of Sigma Phi: if they are adults associated with the school in some way, or if they are siblings of a fraternity brother or a brother's girlfriend, and they have permission from the school to stay the weekend, week, whatever, on campus. While we want to respect the fact that visiting brothers and sisters want to see all Union has to offer (an experience which should take no longer than an hour) and fraternities are probably the sweetest thing about Union, this nonetheless creates incredibly difficult situations for fraternities on campus.
To paint the picture:
This past weekend I enjoyed my usual good time that involved our house's chicken suit (yes, it's an actual suit left over from Halloween) games, music, getting sexiled, and everything else one would expect at a college ranked 17th in the country, a list including division I, II, and III schools, for beer consumption per student. (What now fraternity hating, Minerva loving Union? Beer is here to stay!). But out of all our stories and bantering and general hoopla from this weekend arose a golden nugget of gossip: an underage, waaaaaay underage, R. Kelly style underage, sister of a female Union student had come uninvited to our 4000 year old house to check out the college scene with her older sis.
Now, my little brother has visited Union, so I have no beef with siblings coming and going. And in general having a sibling over for a weekend is a great time. We get to hang out with our brother and/or sister, and Union gets to impress another generation of potential applicants: it's a pure win win. But not for the males on Union's campus. For the males, siblings visiting Union creates very large, very young problems. So to all Union girls (and only girls, because Union guys know better than to expose their sisters to college night life): stop bringing your 16 years old genetically, 24 years old physically sisters to parties so they can run about. If any older guy hooks up with them, that dude is absolutely fu*ked. And I'm not going to tell guys to simply not flirt with these girls, because most the girls look like college graduates, and guys have no idea what they're getting into. The fact that they are under the drinking age doesn't matter; we don't serve any high school sibling alcohol anyway, and if they've found any it's most likely from their irresponsible older sibling. It's the age of consent that becomes an issue.
To paint the picture:
This past weekend I enjoyed my usual good time that involved our house's chicken suit (yes, it's an actual suit left over from Halloween) games, music, getting sexiled, and everything else one would expect at a college ranked 17th in the country, a list including division I, II, and III schools, for beer consumption per student. (What now fraternity hating, Minerva loving Union? Beer is here to stay!). But out of all our stories and bantering and general hoopla from this weekend arose a golden nugget of gossip: an underage, waaaaaay underage, R. Kelly style underage, sister of a female Union student had come uninvited to our 4000 year old house to check out the college scene with her older sis.
Now, my little brother has visited Union, so I have no beef with siblings coming and going. And in general having a sibling over for a weekend is a great time. We get to hang out with our brother and/or sister, and Union gets to impress another generation of potential applicants: it's a pure win win. But not for the males on Union's campus. For the males, siblings visiting Union creates very large, very young problems. So to all Union girls (and only girls, because Union guys know better than to expose their sisters to college night life): stop bringing your 16 years old genetically, 24 years old physically sisters to parties so they can run about. If any older guy hooks up with them, that dude is absolutely fu*ked. And I'm not going to tell guys to simply not flirt with these girls, because most the girls look like college graduates, and guys have no idea what they're getting into. The fact that they are under the drinking age doesn't matter; we don't serve any high school sibling alcohol anyway, and if they've found any it's most likely from their irresponsible older sibling. It's the age of consent that becomes an issue.
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
Marz
posted 1/31/08 @ 12:28 PM EST
Sorry to say but this is kinda funny!!! hahahaha....
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