2008 Woodie Awards
From the new editor's desk: Read me
Issue date: 1/24/08 Section: Opinions
I enjoy making lists of things. Top five sex positions, top three reasons why Harvard shouldn't cost $625 less than Union (no joke), top five weekends, top ten books, top three reasons why Union football players remind me of Chunk ("hey you guuuuuys"), so on and so forth. Last week I tackled the weather (as I write I'm sweating profusely in my 110 degree room while it's about 15 degrees outside, and no I'm not opening up a window because I shouldn't have to), and this week I'm moving to you, the Union student. Basically, you guys suck. So here are two great reasons why you all should read our paper, but don't:
1.To become educated in the goings on of our school. I just learned that a nameless professor recently made students run laps around the Nott while yelling profanities that would make Jesse Jackson and the greater Union population (Jewish students), incredibly upset. Now I learned this through the grapevine, and my sources might be totally wrong. But if not, everyone loves a little gossip. So go ahead, discuss amongst yourselves.
This being said there's more to our newspaper than the occasional gossip article, though the next time a congressman drinks himself silly and tries to recreate the 60s on our campus (if you want to see for yourself: http://blogs.timesunion.com/capitol/?p=983), we'll let you know. But we also provide a solid group of articles every week. Take some of last week's batch: President Ainley=good, Union=graduated the dodgeball movie guy, Union basketball=not so good, Katie Newingham=in Tasmania, Chet's=we need money, and John Tomlin=internet pioneer. All told our inaugural winter term issue was classic Concordy, and I hope those of you who didn't read it will now go online and check it out. If you want to know what people like, don't like, loath, and adore about our college campus, there's no other way than reading our newspaper.
Why this reason won't matter: This varies depending on your grade level. If you're a freshman, you most likely only care about hooking up with the opposite sex, drinking as much as possible on as many days as possible, and whether or not you are going to join Greek life (on that subject, Sigma Phi is a stellar institution who not only gives back to the community, but throws a bangin party. One quick word to prove the second part of that statement: Halloween. And in the words of a good friend of mine: Sig Chi isn't even on the MAP for Halloween).
1.To become educated in the goings on of our school. I just learned that a nameless professor recently made students run laps around the Nott while yelling profanities that would make Jesse Jackson and the greater Union population (Jewish students), incredibly upset. Now I learned this through the grapevine, and my sources might be totally wrong. But if not, everyone loves a little gossip. So go ahead, discuss amongst yourselves.
This being said there's more to our newspaper than the occasional gossip article, though the next time a congressman drinks himself silly and tries to recreate the 60s on our campus (if you want to see for yourself: http://blogs.timesunion.com/capitol/?p=983), we'll let you know. But we also provide a solid group of articles every week. Take some of last week's batch: President Ainley=good, Union=graduated the dodgeball movie guy, Union basketball=not so good, Katie Newingham=in Tasmania, Chet's=we need money, and John Tomlin=internet pioneer. All told our inaugural winter term issue was classic Concordy, and I hope those of you who didn't read it will now go online and check it out. If you want to know what people like, don't like, loath, and adore about our college campus, there's no other way than reading our newspaper.
Why this reason won't matter: This varies depending on your grade level. If you're a freshman, you most likely only care about hooking up with the opposite sex, drinking as much as possible on as many days as possible, and whether or not you are going to join Greek life (on that subject, Sigma Phi is a stellar institution who not only gives back to the community, but throws a bangin party. One quick word to prove the second part of that statement: Halloween. And in the words of a good friend of mine: Sig Chi isn't even on the MAP for Halloween).
Viewing Comments 1 - 3 of 4
Jilly Boel
posted 2/08/08 @ 2:14 PM EST
Is this article for real? A plug for your fraternity? Maybe people dont read the paper because of rants like this instead of real journalism. Not to mention your information about that anonymous teacher is about 90% incorrect. (Continued…)
Vddie Eedder
posted 2/11/08 @ 12:53 AM EST
dude this article is def a joke. its in the opinions section and doesn't really seem at all serious
union student
posted 2/13/08 @ 12:51 PM EST
of COURSE its a joke. thats why the NEWSPAPER is a joke. THATS the point!
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