2008 Woodie Awards
Union Trolley: If we don't get you to your destination in 30 minutes or less....F*ck it!
Tony "the Italian Stallion" Lanza, '08
Issue date: 10/25/07 Section: Opinions
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I was going to write a really long and drawn out piece satirizing the Trolley. But I have a better idea. I can sum up my feelings on the Trolley in three words. F*ck the Trolley. I mean, seriously. It could be 3:00 am, and I have to walk from Gamma Phi to the Ramada by myself, I know there's no point in calling them. Why bother, when they're only going to tell me to walk? I mean, why should I have safety or comfort of mind as I cross the completely-safe Union campus?
Now, the thing is, I don't really mind that much. I'm a six-foot tall guy that wasn't born yesterday. I come from a place with areas worse than Schenectady. But the same can't be said for many of my female friends, who are often left to take their chances crossing campus. I mean, I love Campus Safety, and I appreciate that a lot of students take time out of their schedules to patrol the campus, but it's clearly just not enough. Muggings still happen more than once a term. I know the administration is trying, but clearing trees really isn't the answer.
Besides safety, what about convenience? I remember during my Freshman year (I'm a Senior if anyone's counting), I'd be hard pressed to beat my friends who took the trolley regularly. Almost everyone I knew took the Trolley, and told me I was stupid not to, just because I'd get to my destination at pretty much the same time. That was the Golden Age of the Trolley though. Back then, you could get on the Trolley and tell the driver where you were going, and he'd go there. If he had multiple stops, he'd make the most logical progression from place to place, and that'd be that. The Trolley drivers were even nice to the drunk people. Glorious.
Lately, however, I'm just left wondering what the hell the Trolley does anymore. On a number of occasions, be it weekday nights, weekend nights, or whatever, my friends and I have called the Trolley only to be told that they won't be at our location for 30 minutes.
Now, I'd be ok with waiting some time for the convenience of a covered, safe ride. But after you get on, you take some sort of ridiculous circular route to wherever you're going. Got on at the Ramada and have to go to Davidson? Cool. First, we're stopping at Reamer, Potter, Orange, and then finally Davidson. What the f*ck? Does the Trolley help anyone anymore? Why bother even having it? If I wanted to take 30 minutes to get from Reamer to Davidson, I'd slam my head into the wall until I was barely conscious, have someone point me in the right direction, and stagger off.
Hell, that's if you're lucky enough for them to pick you up in the first place. Several of my friends have asked to be picked up late at night, only to be told they're better off walking. And that the drivers no longer have cell phones. Are you kidding me?
Interestingly enough, prospective students and parents hear all the benefits of having a Trolley system on campus. I think that's horse sh*t. Just like being told when I was a prospective that by the time I was a student, class registration would be online. Not Hays House online, mind you, but real online. The kind that other colleges have had for years. But what do I know?
F*ck the Trolley.
-Tony "the Italian Stallion" Lanza, '08
Now, the thing is, I don't really mind that much. I'm a six-foot tall guy that wasn't born yesterday. I come from a place with areas worse than Schenectady. But the same can't be said for many of my female friends, who are often left to take their chances crossing campus. I mean, I love Campus Safety, and I appreciate that a lot of students take time out of their schedules to patrol the campus, but it's clearly just not enough. Muggings still happen more than once a term. I know the administration is trying, but clearing trees really isn't the answer.
Besides safety, what about convenience? I remember during my Freshman year (I'm a Senior if anyone's counting), I'd be hard pressed to beat my friends who took the trolley regularly. Almost everyone I knew took the Trolley, and told me I was stupid not to, just because I'd get to my destination at pretty much the same time. That was the Golden Age of the Trolley though. Back then, you could get on the Trolley and tell the driver where you were going, and he'd go there. If he had multiple stops, he'd make the most logical progression from place to place, and that'd be that. The Trolley drivers were even nice to the drunk people. Glorious.
Lately, however, I'm just left wondering what the hell the Trolley does anymore. On a number of occasions, be it weekday nights, weekend nights, or whatever, my friends and I have called the Trolley only to be told that they won't be at our location for 30 minutes.
Now, I'd be ok with waiting some time for the convenience of a covered, safe ride. But after you get on, you take some sort of ridiculous circular route to wherever you're going. Got on at the Ramada and have to go to Davidson? Cool. First, we're stopping at Reamer, Potter, Orange, and then finally Davidson. What the f*ck? Does the Trolley help anyone anymore? Why bother even having it? If I wanted to take 30 minutes to get from Reamer to Davidson, I'd slam my head into the wall until I was barely conscious, have someone point me in the right direction, and stagger off.
Hell, that's if you're lucky enough for them to pick you up in the first place. Several of my friends have asked to be picked up late at night, only to be told they're better off walking. And that the drivers no longer have cell phones. Are you kidding me?
Interestingly enough, prospective students and parents hear all the benefits of having a Trolley system on campus. I think that's horse sh*t. Just like being told when I was a prospective that by the time I was a student, class registration would be online. Not Hays House online, mind you, but real online. The kind that other colleges have had for years. But what do I know?
F*ck the Trolley.
-Tony "the Italian Stallion" Lanza, '08
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